Man In The Radiator

 This is it. From sometime in February of this year to now I've managed to write over a hundred pages of poetry, which may have been the most creatively productive period of my life since my early teenage years. I get no satisfaction or gratification from this. There wouldn't be this newfound productivity and inspiration if it weren't for the events that transpired in February. The person I loved most in this world betrayed me, abandoned me, altered my world, and annihilated my heart. And from out of the cold, pathetic remains of my hopeless heart, all of these words of unrequited love, nightmares, suicidal ideation, visions of the apocalypse, and even (most surprisingly) attempted expressions of new love that I then completely sabotaged - and then subsequently wrote about, came bursting forth from my maimed carcass. I hesitate to say if it was worth it. I'm entirely unsure if anything I have written or will continue to write will be worth the pain and complete disrupti

I think I finally lost whatever was left of my mind while trying to finish writing this one.    Miscarried The tread that’s been frayed for years Has finally withered and severed With a silent and pathetic  Snap.  Dangling precariously  And eternal above the vacant, shallow  Avenue of planned death, I’m now left suffocating lovingly On all the sickened fumes of My long-desired car crash.  All there is left to hear, Ephemeral scraping sounds Echoing from the resistance of Multitudes of blades  Forging bisected pathways through my flesh - Time and time again  It’s all dizzyingly distorted  The many actions of my past.  Forcibly observed future Hemostatical clamps holding together All past epochs of dejection Failure And abandonment  So I can reliably throw my mind into  Maelstroms of disappointments  And personal distortions As to pinpoint each and every perfect moment  Where I could have thrown my life away, Recultivating the isolated landscapes Of uprooted parking lots  Littered with t