Forgotten Kewpie - A Ode to Stranded Gifts and Rejected Affection

 

Broken Porcelain 

Time starved by the gallowed hauntings

Waiting to return to the waltz

Of forced obsolescence,

Ghosts spinning into amnesia

Fading into the murdered framework 

Islands burning into the sea 

Collecting all the stolen days 

Consumed by the never-ending girl 

Who I sank all my troubles into,

Into the shaken lost girl 

Falling through scented and diseased gloom. 

She smiled a draining grin

That shined through the Atlantic corridor

And ruptured all my plans

Of ending time

Of curing myself

From this mysterious disease of life. 

Once we kneaded together

Our shattered shadows

Joined me in the ceremony of severance,

Emulsified our fleshy nothingness,

Our altered balances,

Our senses of rhythmic decline,

And out came

Entangled in frozen static,

Severed sheets of spongy fat, 

And rusted, singing coils

Was the little dislocated child of ruin

Our uncanny entity

With their feet dangling into the uncanny 

Unearthed, bathed in chalk, and baptized in

Molds of dead teeth

And eldritch whispers -

You sent him to me

Unexpected, cushioned in your shredded love

And intoxicating locks 

Of hair, colored like the dead black stars

Falling above us,

Our forgotten kewpie,

An omen of broken porcelain 

A shockingly alive lithopedion 

Birthed before 

We could even touch. 

Now it’s all gone unspoken 

Perched upon spires of disarray 

Steeples veering forever on the tilt

Where the inanimate child begs to drop 

And smash

Blanketing shards to aid my shivering dreams

You must remember 

Our conjoined gaze into the tiny craters for eyes

Naming our bizarre creation

You must remember, right?

Can it be anything

Without you?

-

The girl that the world rejected,

I guided her 

Through my existence of unwantedness 

Pulled and sculpted us to a new start

With wires wrought tight around our aching fists

Sawing away, planting bloodied smiles

Kissing between our palms.

I drank your embodied rapture and pain

As you floated and sank through me

Day after day 

As the electrified rain fell

And the glitching church bells 

Screamed voices of betrayal in your reeling head, 

Through our bruised fits

Of writhing into each other 

With the new, majestic delirium you molded me in

Out came our broken porcelain child

That looked over us 

Silently observing a prescribed downfall

I never consented to. 

Shrunken hunched over anonymity 

Sexless, stark-white, malformed

Masticating my fingertips

Smashed face screaming with our likeness 

Asymmetrical dollop of our perfumed blood

Trickling down its lifeless head

Pale as an upside-down corpse, drained of all life’s colors

Drained of all vitality 

Drained of all love,

The same ghostly pale 

You would turn 

When the weekly injectors splintered chemicals

Up your keloid-lined legs. 

Two oscillating black holes for eyes

Unknown shade of smeared lipstick

On scar tissue lips

Or cauterized bits of you and I

Haphazardly streaked across the sunken, embedded frown. 

Oblong tumorous head

Finally, it breathed its first pained breath 

The night you went away

When I carried your flowered, patchouli-scented corpse

Through the abandoned airport 

A terminal of bisected sheets of now ineffectual poetry,

Electronic gravestones, written in frayed wires

The dates of our raptured connection 

And the ensuing reversed stillbirth,

An echoing fracture in the phantasmagoric mold 

The premature death of our one creation 

Our forgotten, broken kewpie

Bearing the mangled, gnarled faces

Of your hatred 

And my rejection-ridden agony.

Everlasting effigy 

To failure

And loneliness

And shared, yet separated, personal decay.

Stretch out through maligned time

Take my hand for the last time

Join me

In smashing our ill-omened creation

Drain the ocean to flow backward

Into the crooked, fateless stars

Float your lacerated ghost through 

The radiated dust clouds of my still-ignited love

For you 

Perpetually tearing me apart

Atom by agonizing atom. 

The death of our child 

Means nothing

With you still gone. 

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